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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:16am

So what if I'm single now ... I mean it can't be that hard to boil toast, can it?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:16am

Today's Horoscope: You're gullible.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:16am

I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:16am

Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:15am

Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:15am

Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:15am

My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don't run into anyone you know.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:15am

Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:14am

A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:14am

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:14am

Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:14am

Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their wifi bill.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:13am

Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:13am

If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:13am

You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:13am

They say a dog park is a great place to pick up girls. I don't have a dog so I am walking around with a bag of poop so I won't look weird.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:13am

The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macauley Culkin because I always go home alone.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:13am

How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:12am

A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.15.17 @ 09:12am

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