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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 19:50pm

With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 19:46pm

Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.11 @ 18:46pm

Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.11 @ 18:42pm

In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there's me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that's right !
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.11 @ 18:33pm

You should have been a chicken and just went home.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:46pm

The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:43pm

To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:41pm

Who can really hear themselves thinking?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:41pm

You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:26pm

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I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:22pm

"You should've come with us!" well, inviting me would've helped..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:14pm

If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:33pm

I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:16pm

the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:08pm

I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:01pm

People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 20:56pm

Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it's strapped to the top of someone's car.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 09:32am

With all the new car technology you would think someone could invent a side mirror that could show where an object actually appears.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 09:05am

just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.4.11 @ 10:58am

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