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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Donīt you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didnīt want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Unwritten Rule of the Day: Donīt make eye contact while eating a banana.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You know itīs going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The part of "no" that I donīt understand is the part where I donīt get what I want
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Iīm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously canīt get off the couch or Iīll die.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Making mirrors look good, since 1972
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

My theory on housework is, if the item doesnīt multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonnaī be a great day.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person Iīd prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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