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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

word of the day: nincomtard
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I just bought some new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said to remove the top and push up bottom. My butt hurts now but every time I fart the room smells awesome.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You´d be amazed how often I´m wrong when people say guess what.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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