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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I've got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:39pm

I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:37pm

I'm just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:31pm

when they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:30pm

I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:29pm

Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That's the 4th one I've seen passed out on this road
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:29pm

When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they're catching on though.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:04pm

Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 15:10pm

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 09:38am

Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don't mix.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 07:49am

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I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 00:01am

The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 23:59pm

I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 23:58pm

I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 23:57pm

Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 22:48pm

My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 22:12pm

Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:48pm

Where there's a will I want to be in it
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:35pm

May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:34pm

So long pants! See you Monday!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:22pm

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