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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.2.11 @ 08:41am

I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.2.11 @ 08:16am

Do me a favor if someone tells you they don't like me , tell them I don't like them either.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.2.11 @ 08:16am

This Status Update could be yours for six Easy Payments of $19.99
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.29.11 @ 23:27pm

Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.29.11 @ 21:07pm

The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.25.11 @ 21:01pm

She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.25.11 @ 21:00pm

Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 06.23.11 @ 16:57pm

Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 06.23.11 @ 16:56pm

I'm lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 06.23.11 @ 16:55pm

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Being an adult is the worst idea ever.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.22.11 @ 19:42pm

I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.22.11 @ 15:43pm

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.21.11 @ 16:11pm

Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don't cut it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.21.11 @ 16:11pm

For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 06.20.11 @ 19:19pm

My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.20.11 @ 16:06pm

If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.20.11 @ 16:04pm

so far so good.... no unexpected father's day cards or presents!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.19.11 @ 07:39am

It's all fun and games...unless there's cookies, then it's serious
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.18.11 @ 22:04pm

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.18.11 @ 09:34am

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