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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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is in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 09.17.11 @ 08:02am

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.17.11 @ 08:01am

10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.16.11 @ 18:55pm

thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:41pm

is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:40pm

thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:36pm

After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that's not done at this hotel....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:26pm

My therapist says I should quit talking to myself. 
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:20pm

I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:18pm

tried being normal. Didn't like the feeling, so I'm going back to being ME.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:18pm

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While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I'm melting I'm melting!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:17pm

I broke up with my girlfriend by e-mail. I don't know what upset her most, the fact that I did it by email or the fact that I cc'd my new girlfriend who wanted proof.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:16pm

Please don't make me choose between you and porn.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:15pm

I guess today has been pretty good. I haven't had to slap one single person yet....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:14pm

They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:13pm

Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:12pm

Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.11 @ 19:05pm

Check this one out.........1
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.14.11 @ 22:11pm

Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 15:09pm

Time flies when you’re having a drunken blackout.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 15:08pm

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