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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you're interrupting!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.16.11 @ 21:08pm

Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.16.11 @ 20:14pm

I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn't take and you're a demon who must be destroyed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.16.11 @ 20:06pm

Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.16.11 @ 19:56pm

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.16.11 @ 16:29pm

I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.16.11 @ 10:40am

I could of sworn my pillow's a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.16.11 @ 10:38am

I've been knocking for ten minutes. Don't people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 22:19pm

wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 22:11pm

The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 22:08pm

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If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 21:48pm

Sometimes, I think I'm a genius. Then I realize I've already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 21:43pm

Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 21:31pm

Does this floor Iím laying on make me look unmotivated?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 21:29pm

Don't tell me to make myself at home if you don't want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.15.11 @ 07:28am

lol I rotfl
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 22:48pm

People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 21:35pm

Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting deleted.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 19:36pm

Iím actually not funny. Iím just really mean & people think Iím joking.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 18:28pm

lifes a laugh, start living it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 17:47pm

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