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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 15:05pm

Youre not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 15:05pm

LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you werent paying attention.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 15:03pm

6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:59pm

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:55pm

You ever notice q, p, b and d is the same letter but with a different angle.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:55pm

How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:25pm

There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:24pm

I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:22pm

That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:20pm

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A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:20pm

That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:11pm

No. My hair magically got shorter.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:10pm

Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:09pm

The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 14:08pm

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 13:47pm

Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 13:47pm

Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 13:46pm

Yes, Facebook says we're 'friends' but, trust me, I wouldn't hesitate to punch you in the face.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 13:45pm

I'm a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.11 @ 13:45pm

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