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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 16:40pm

They say you are what you eat but I donít remember eating a sexy beast.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 16:37pm

Don't you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 16:37pm

Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 16:36pm

Our neighbor said he wouldn't mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 16:35pm

is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.11 @ 16:34pm

My death bed confession is going to be epic!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.13.11 @ 10:45am

My wife thinks I'm at work. My boss thinks I'm home sick. These ducks think I'm awesome because I have the bread.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.13.11 @ 10:40am

When I say "Itís a long story" It usually means I just donít want to tell you it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.13.11 @ 10:37am

Although the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 22:52pm

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Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 22:41pm

This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 22:18pm

I'm pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 15:33pm

You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 15:30pm

Iím not in denial, Iím just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 07:29am

thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 07:22am

Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I canít wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie. 5% - That was a complete waste of money. 85% - I gotta pee!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 07:08am

Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 06:54am

If you canít face it, moon it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 06:52am

Jesus is coming.... look busy
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 23:51pm

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