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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 21:41pm

Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 20:20pm

You canít believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:37pm

The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:27pm

Please donít take anything I say personal or too seriously. Iím just an idiot with internet access.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:23pm

can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:17pm

really vry funny
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 06:24am

I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 18:52pm

hilarious
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 16:43pm

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:32pm

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My hearing is fine. There's no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:29pm

I either get what I want or I change my mind!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:29pm

likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it's Monday.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:22pm

You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:18pm

I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:10pm

Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:09pm

gua suka sama kamu
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 12:01pm

Girl says to her Blonde friend, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blonde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian??
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.9.11 @ 11:32am

Today's Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.8.11 @ 21:21pm

All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.8.11 @ 21:17pm

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