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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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People that walk behind cars get exhausted
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 14:21pm

I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 11:41am

My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 11:40am

I'm a spontaneous procrastinator
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 08:33am

Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 21:06pm

ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:22pm

Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:11pm

She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:09pm

I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I'm getting out =]
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:06pm

I own a shop selling 'CLOSED' signs. We haven't had a single customer today.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 15:51pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 15:48pm

loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 20:36pm

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 20:04pm

What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 19:50pm

With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 19:46pm

Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.11 @ 18:46pm

Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.11 @ 18:42pm

In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there's me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that's right !
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.11 @ 18:33pm

You should have been a chicken and just went home.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:46pm

The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:43pm

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