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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:41pm

Who can really hear themselves thinking?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:41pm

You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:26pm

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:22pm

"You should've come with us!" well, inviting me would've helped..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 23:14pm

If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:33pm

I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:16pm

the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:08pm

I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 21:01pm

People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 20:56pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it's strapped to the top of someone's car.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 09:32am

With all the new car technology you would think someone could invent a side mirror that could show where an object actually appears.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.5.11 @ 09:05am

just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.4.11 @ 10:58am

I've got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:39pm

I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:37pm

I'm just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:31pm

when they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:30pm

I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:29pm

Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That's the 4th one I've seen passed out on this road
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:29pm

When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they're catching on though.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 22:04pm

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