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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Don't Follow Me, I'm Lost Too
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:00pm

If your dog is fat, youíre not getting enough exercise.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 17:53pm

This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)†
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 21:00pm

"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 20:56pm

I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 20:55pm

On a scale from 0 to insane, I'm Batman!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 20:48pm

I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.24.11 @ 21:17pm

I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I'm not a shopaholic.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 08.23.11 @ 20:45pm

When I'm on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.23.11 @ 20:43pm

I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.23.11 @ 20:39pm

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My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.22.11 @ 16:21pm

If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.22.11 @ 16:20pm

Today I think I'll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.22.11 @ 16:19pm

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna ki..- ahh damn! He's under a blanket
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.22.11 @ 16:17pm

If someone says they'll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.22.11 @ 16:16pm

I'm not naughty ... I'm mischievously creative
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 19:53pm

Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend's head...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 13:44pm

My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 13:42pm

Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 13:40pm

Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... thatís a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You're welcome!!! ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 13:38pm

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