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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 15:10pm

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 09:38am

Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don't mix.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 07:49am

I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.11 @ 00:01am

The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 23:59pm

I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 23:58pm

I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 23:57pm

Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 22:48pm

My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 22:12pm

Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:48pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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Where there's a will I want to be in it
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:35pm

May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:34pm

So long pants! See you Monday!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 21:22pm

Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 06:37am

off to bed...evil schemes don't dream themselves up.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 06:35am

Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.11 @ 06:35am

I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.31.11 @ 17:39pm

When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.31.11 @ 17:33pm

It's all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.31.11 @ 17:31pm

You know you're fat when you run out of breath eating.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.31.11 @ 17:29pm

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