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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you try and don´t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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