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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I'm not lazy... I'm in energy saving mode.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 13:36pm

Today's big idea - Coffee eye drops
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 13:35pm

Single ? I'm not single, I'm in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.21.11 @ 13:33pm

These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.20.11 @ 09:01am

I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It's H2OMG
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 19:33pm

My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 19:32pm

I got kicked out of the pool today ... apperently the breaststroke isn't what I thought it was.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 19:30pm

You'll never see me on Hoarders because I can't afford that much sh!t.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 19:29pm

We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 19:18pm

Dear facebook, please quit asking me what's on my mind. Eventually I'm going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 19:18pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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On the first day of school, I tell all my students to rip up their textbooks ..then I leave before their REAL teacher arrives.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 19:16pm

M̸o̸n̸, T̸u̸e̸s̸, W̸e̸d̸, T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸, Friday !!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:46pm

Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.†
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:43pm

Attention fuels immaturity
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:42pm

~WARNING~ I will more than likely offend you at some point in time
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:41pm

i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:40pm

I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but letís not rush into things.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:40pm

If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:36pm

I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but Iím the only one that matters.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:35pm

Own the day
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 21:25pm

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