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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 21:50pm

Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 21:38pm

Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:52pm

Ever wondered why there’s no window in the airplane’s toilet? Because, really, who’s going to see in?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:52pm

I liked you a lot more before I met you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:49pm

I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:46pm

Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:44pm

Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I'm feeling great. So it's all good.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:38pm

What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:35pm

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.3.11 @ 19:34pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 23:10pm

Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What's your name?!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 22:40pm

Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 22:35pm

Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 22:33pm

The longer I'm left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:33pm

If I had a nickel for every time I've misplaced my keys, there'd be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:30pm

I don't always agree with everything I say. :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:29pm

There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:25pm

I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 12:05pm

I’m not a schizophrenic… At least, that’s what all the voices tell me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.1.11 @ 16:06pm

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