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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 20:46pm

is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 20:46pm

Comment if you think I'm normal... Like this if you think I'm crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 20:45pm

■It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:43pm

I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:38pm

My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:34pm

Steve Jobs' text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:31pm

Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:29pm

I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:28pm

If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot” ...you're wasting everybody’s time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:21pm

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when I'm quiet, strangers look at me and think I'm shy. People who know me think: OMG! he's thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:16pm

Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don't! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:12pm

I enjoy short walks to the fridge
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:09pm

Don't Follow Me, I'm Lost Too
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 18:00pm

If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.26.11 @ 17:53pm

This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :) 
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 21:00pm

"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 20:56pm

I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 20:55pm

On a scale from 0 to insane, I'm Batman!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.25.11 @ 20:48pm

I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.24.11 @ 21:17pm

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