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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.28.11 @ 10:21am

When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.28.11 @ 10:20am

Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 09.28.11 @ 06:13am

oh look at the time, it's time to not care
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.28.11 @ 00:53am

Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK'D!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.28.11 @ 00:31am

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.28.11 @ 00:27am

We're all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.27.11 @ 21:18pm

I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.27.11 @ 18:41pm

Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I'll keep you posted.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.27.11 @ 18:37pm

scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.27.11 @ 12:38pm

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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.27.11 @ 00:25am

I'm so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn't think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.27.11 @ 00:13am

Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.26.11 @ 22:16pm

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.26.11 @ 19:06pm

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.26.11 @ 18:21pm

The closest I got to a 4.0 at university… was my blood alcohol level!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 09.26.11 @ 17:35pm

I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.26.11 @ 15:52pm

I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 09.26.11 @ 15:19pm

If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.26.11 @ 15:18pm

Save water- shower with me!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 23:51pm

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