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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Girls here's an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.3.11 @ 15:24pm

I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.1.11 @ 19:17pm

I don't care what people think of me. It can't be half as bad as what I think of them...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.1.11 @ 19:12pm

I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.1.11 @ 19:09pm

SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.1.11 @ 19:08pm

The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.1.11 @ 19:05pm

Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.1.11 @ 19:04pm

The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn't say anything important, it's to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.30.11 @ 13:05pm

If you don't pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.30.11 @ 07:10am

Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.28.11 @ 17:58pm

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I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.28.11 @ 17:53pm

On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.28.11 @ 17:51pm

omg I just found out I'm allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.28.11 @ 17:51pm

If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I'm almost out.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.28.11 @ 17:49pm

When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.28.11 @ 17:47pm

Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.28.11 @ 17:38pm

I am so clever sometimes I don't even understand what I'm saying.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 07.27.11 @ 19:02pm

Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 07.27.11 @ 18:59pm

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 07.27.11 @ 18:57pm

I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 07.27.11 @ 18:56pm

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