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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Legally,Itīs questionable. Morally,Itīs disgusting. Personally,I like it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I donīt like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesnīt even have to happen at all.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I sleep better naked.. why canīt the flight attendants understand this?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Iīm not lazy, Iīm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Whoever is in charge of making sure I donīt do dumb stuff is fired.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I donīt like people who canīt make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Donīt call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Part of me says I canīt keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Donīt listen to that guy. Heīs drunk."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If life is a Bitch, then why hasnīt it made me a Sandwich?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

In my will, Iīm giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesnīt say a word.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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