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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:36pm

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:34pm

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:33pm

As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:28pm

I flunked anger management class.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:28pm

Don't blame me, I was born awesome ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:25pm

Helpful Tip : The police never think it's as funny as you do.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:23pm

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:14pm

If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 14:02pm

I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 13:56pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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The well behaved rarely make history.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.25.11 @ 13:53pm

Im on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 23:04pm

Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 22:23pm

ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 16:14pm

If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you'll be all good.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 16:05pm

In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 15:52pm

I've decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 15:49pm

*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 15:48pm

I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 15:47pm

Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.24.11 @ 15:46pm

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