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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 13:39pm

wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you're beating them senseless?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 12:29pm

been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 12:28pm

You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 11:39am

stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 08:43am

I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 07:12am

B!tch, please! You're so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 06:39am

Can you shut up now?! Because talking to you sounds less appealing then playing leapfrog with unicorns.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 06:38am

The number one key to a successful marriage is alcoholism.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.11 @ 06:11am

awesome collection!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.21.11 @ 20:48pm

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Will be drunk until further notice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.21.11 @ 19:50pm

I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.21.11 @ 16:37pm

Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.21.11 @ 16:36pm

Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone's mouth while they are talking?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.21.11 @ 12:08pm

It's hard to make your coffee when you haven't had your coffee.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.21.11 @ 08:15am

I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 10.20.11 @ 22:26pm

I think I'm gonna take a hot shower. Its like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.20.11 @ 20:36pm

Apparently, when asked "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F**kin' large ones" is not the correct answer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.20.11 @ 18:11pm

If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I'd have enough money to invest in a hitman
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.20.11 @ 18:09pm

Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.20.11 @ 16:27pm

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