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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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More funny statuses will be posted here soon 
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.19.11 @ 23:41pm

People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.19.11 @ 23:40pm

joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:48am

I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:47am

Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:45am

I'd like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:44am

People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you're watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:43am

Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you're not driving.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:42am

I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:42am

Survival rule #1: Don't go first.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:40am

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So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:33am

You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:31am

There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:30am

You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:28am

Things to do today.....pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my shoe.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:27am

"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:25am

Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:17am

likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I'll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 10:02am

Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 09:57am

Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 09.18.11 @ 09:57am

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