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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

U make me wish I had more middle fingers
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Honk if you want to see my finger.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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