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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.25.11 @ 14:22pm

Iím giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.25.11 @ 14:14pm

If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.25.11 @ 14:13pm

If lemons hand you life, youíre probably dyslexic
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.25.11 @ 14:11pm

The first step is admitting youíre a problem.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.25.11 @ 14:10pm

Life is tough. Itís even tougher if youíre stupid.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.24.11 @ 07:39am

It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend youíre listening.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.24.11 @ 07:38am

Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.24.11 @ 07:37am

What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 19:53pm

People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 19:52pm

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Just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellant. Now, heíll never have any friends.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 19:47pm

I hope Iím the last guy on earth ó I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 19:46pm

Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 14:17pm

Iím off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 14:03pm

I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? WellÖmy phone number for a start.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 08:14am

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 08:13am

I AM doing something with my life. Itís called screwing around.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.23.11 @ 08:12am

I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don't be a smart-a$$".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.21.11 @ 20:03pm

Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.21.11 @ 19:47pm

Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.21.11 @ 19:28pm

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