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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Iím not in denial, Iím just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 07:29am

thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 07:22am

Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I canít wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie. 5% - That was a complete waste of money. 85% - I gotta pee!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 07:08am

Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 06:54am

If you canít face it, moon it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.12.11 @ 06:52am

Jesus is coming.... look busy
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 23:51pm

Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 21:41pm

Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 20:20pm

You canít believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:37pm

The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:27pm

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Please donít take anything I say personal or too seriously. Iím just an idiot with internet access.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:23pm

can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 15:17pm

really vry funny
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.11.11 @ 06:24am

I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 18:52pm

hilarious
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 16:43pm

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:32pm

My hearing is fine. There's no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:29pm

I either get what I want or I change my mind!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:29pm

likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it's Monday.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:22pm

You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.10.11 @ 15:18pm

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