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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I want it all and I want it delivered.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery wonīt spoil me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You are here: X
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Do you ever notice that when youīre driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Smile. It makes people wonder what youīre up to.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Is somebody not editing what Iīm saying here???
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is spending my childrenīs inheritance.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Save time. See it my way.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Some days itīs not worth chewing through the straps.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Gun Control: Use both hands
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If I throw a stick will you leave?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You canīt trust dogs to watch your food.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while itīs still snowing
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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