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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 06.2.11 @ 17:00pm

Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.1.11 @ 18:51pm

My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.31.11 @ 16:30pm

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.31.11 @ 16:24pm

The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.30.11 @ 19:11pm

…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.30.11 @ 16:44pm

Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It's your own dumb asphalt !!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.30.11 @ 16:43pm

if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.30.11 @ 03:19am

I could never trust a psychic who hasn't won the lottery at least once.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.28.11 @ 08:49am

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.28.11 @ 07:34am

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I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 05.27.11 @ 17:07pm

I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn't reach very far.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 05.25.11 @ 19:28pm

I could never trust a psychic who hasn't won the lottery at least once.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 05.25.11 @ 19:27pm

I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.24.11 @ 15:41pm

Nothing screams "I don't care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.24.11 @ 15:17pm

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.23.11 @ 05:47am

Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 05.22.11 @ 12:44pm

Whenever I hear the phrase 'anything is possible', I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 05.22.11 @ 12:30pm

Does this status update make me look fat?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.21.11 @ 09:54am

People are making Rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow.....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.21.11 @ 08:37am

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