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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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The longer I'm left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:33pm

If I had a nickel for every time I've misplaced my keys, there'd be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:30pm

I don't always agree with everything I say. :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:29pm

There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 13:25pm

I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.2.11 @ 12:05pm

Iím not a schizophrenicÖ At least, thatís what all the voices tell me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.1.11 @ 16:06pm

I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who's in with me?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.1.11 @ 13:36pm

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.1.11 @ 11:17am

I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 10.1.11 @ 09:45am

Stumbled into bed late last night. "You're drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.1.11 @ 09:04am

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A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 10.1.11 @ 00:52am

If we aren't meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 18:49pm

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 18:39pm

Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 18:37pm

If I had the money I'd hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 18:33pm

My best relationship advice: Make sure you're the crazy one.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 18:23pm

All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 18:18pm

If tit for tat doesn't mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I've been doing it wrong this whole time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 15:30pm

Just took an inventory of my body and it appears to be overstocked in all the wrong places.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 15:27pm

Itís the getting ahead that Iím running behind on.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.30.11 @ 15:25pm

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