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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isnīt surprising really, since it isnīt my birthday.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

īs status message is better than yours
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If I was rich, Iīd do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. Iīm awesome..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what itīs all about
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

if there wasnīt a last minute Iīd never get anything done.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

TEIAM - problem solved
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." Iīm pretty surprised "yell for help" wasnīt one of them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I have an oven with a "stop time" button. Itīs probably meant to be "stop timer" but I donīt touch it, just in case.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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