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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:48am

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:47am

Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you're so lazy you didn't even finish reading the number.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:46am

I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.14.11 @ 16:20pm

My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.14.11 @ 16:18pm

Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 19:48pm

Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 19:48pm

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, Iím coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 19:45pm

I don't get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 18:25pm

Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.12.11 @ 09:52am

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So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.12.11 @ 09:50am

Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.11.11 @ 10:19am

I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.11.11 @ 08:33am

I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.11.11 @ 08:31am

Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don't feel like doing.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.11.11 @ 07:54am

Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.11.11 @ 01:44am

I read Facebook for the pictures.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 06.10.11 @ 20:35pm

If you've never played Tetris, you're probably useless at loading a dishwasher
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 06.10.11 @ 20:09pm

If you donít like my sense of humor please tell meÖ so I can laugh at you!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 06.10.11 @ 19:42pm

Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 06.9.11 @ 22:20pm

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