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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while itīs still snowing
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If theyīre okay, then itīs you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If all the worldīs a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Money isnīt everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Iīm on a whisky diet. Iīve lost three days already!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

People who say you canīt buy happiness just donīt know where to shop.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

My friend won a trip to China. Heīs out there now... trying to win a trip back.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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If the shoe fits, buy it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The trouble with children is that theyīre not returnable.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I drink to make other people interesting
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised theyīre going to be when you kill them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you donīt know anyone, or even if youīve heard of someone who doesnīt know anyone, then do still copy this. Itīs important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crapīs sake, donīt forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume itīs for them?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

went to the book store earlier to buy a Whereīs Waldo book. When I got there, I couldnīt find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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