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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you try and don´t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

He who laughs last didn´t get it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You laugh because I´m different. I laugh cause I just farted!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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