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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Whatever it is ... I didnīt do it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you canīt convince them, confuse them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you think nobody cares if youīre alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I donīt suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But itīs still on the list.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. Iīd miss you alot and think of you often.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Youīre never too old to learn something stupid.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you canīt help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If McDonaldīs sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If I agreed with you weīd both be wrong.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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