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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Even if gas prices go down, Iīm still going to siphon gas from my neighborīs car because I like the adrenaline rush and heīs an a$$hole
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I donīt know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Dear God, Iīve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I havenīt been mean at all, but Iīm about to get up now and I may need your help :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If I werenīt such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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canīt find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If at first you donīt succeed ..... buy her another drink
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is pretty sure thereīs a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah Iīm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I get so tired of the same old BS...canīt I get a little BS variety?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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