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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

U make me wish I had more middle fingers
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Honk if you want to see my finger.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Keep honking. Im reloading.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The sooner you fall behind the more time youll have to catch up.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, its hard to get it back in.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Dont worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Im not cheap, but I am on special this week
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you cant read this, youre illiterate.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Black holes must be where God divided by zero.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Drink till shes cute, but stop before the wedding
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Seen it all, done it all, cant remember most of it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ill never be old enough to know better.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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