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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I purchased my own Taser off the internet the other day. In a totally unconnected incident, Iīve got to buy a cat to replace the neighbors one this afternoon.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? Thereīs apparently more traffic going to hell!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Letīs drink tequila till you donīt remember what I suggest next..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

When I grow up Iīd like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If history repeats itself, Iīm totally getting a dinosaur.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Wonders why thereīs an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You know that button in the elevator with the firemanīs hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a firemanīs hat.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that Iīm typing this with my middle finger.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I wanna say something. Iīm gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you donīt, send it back. "I want to be on you"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Iīm pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and Iīll let you know.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I might not be a great example, but Iīm one hell of a good warning.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You know itīs cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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