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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesnīt constitue telling fatties theyīre fatties.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Iīm (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Is it bad when Iīm talking to myself and Iīm not even listening?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I just peed so hard that I laughed a little.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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I just awesomed all over the place.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I always laugh at myself. If I didnīt, everyone else would be having fun without me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists arenīt even trying.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Sometimes I whisper, "Iīm on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I canīt wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I wasnīt born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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