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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Iīm on a whisky diet. Iīve lost three days already!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

People who say you canīt buy happiness just donīt know where to shop.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

My friend won a trip to China. Heīs out there now... trying to win a trip back.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If the shoe fits, buy it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The trouble with children is that theyīre not returnable.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I drink to make other people interesting
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised theyīre going to be when you kill them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you donīt know anyone, or even if youīve heard of someone who doesnīt know anyone, then do still copy this. Itīs important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crapīs sake, donīt forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume itīs for them?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
Check out more at Almost Silly Statuses

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

went to the book store earlier to buy a Whereīs Waldo book. When I got there, I couldnīt find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isnīt surprising really, since it isnīt my birthday.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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