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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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You really can't say your laundry is done unless you are completely naked
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:35pm

I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily Iím just unpopular.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:35pm

I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:35pm

If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I donít make the rules.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:35pm

We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:35pm

Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:35pm

I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:34pm

I'm old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:31pm

Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:31pm

It's pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it's not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:30pm

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If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:30pm

I need to re-home a dog. Itís a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and Iíll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:29pm

At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:29pm

Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:28pm

If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:28pm

Robots can do anything we set their mind to
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:28pm

Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:27pm

Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.11.18 @ 18:27pm

What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 04.7.18 @ 13:52pm

I take so many things with a grain of salt that I'm surprised I don't have high blood pressure.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 04.7.18 @ 09:39am

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