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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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word of the day: nincomtard
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I know you think youŽre interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesnŽt make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

DonŽt wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You see I, IŽve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakinŽ our backs everyday. If wantinŽ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, hereŽs to you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? HowŽd that work out for him?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If I truly posted what was on my mind ... IŽd most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I just bought some new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said to remove the top and push up bottom. My butt hurts now but every time I fart the room smells awesome.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

YouŽd be amazed how often IŽm wrong when people say guess what.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I hate when IŽm laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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