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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times youīve had?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I have many thoughts. I just canīt remember any of them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Word for the day is asstard
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Itīs never to late to be happy
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

canīt seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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If Monday had a face, Iīd punch it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Iīm playing hide and seek with the kids right now and theyīll never find me, because they arenīt old enough to drive or get into this bar.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "whoīs blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Holy crap! I just realized that Iīm still it from a game of tag in 1987.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Watching movies alone sucks. Thereīs no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

you canīt drink all day if you donīt start in the morning
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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