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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I may look calm, but in my head Iīve punched you in the face 3 times already!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Have you ever held your money and thought "I hope this hasnīt been up a stripperīs butt"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I canīt wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Donīt be stupid, itīs not smart.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didnīt pick any of them
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

hmm ... I wonder what Iīm thinking?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is "insert clever remark here."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Iīve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it reminds me of some of the drunken nights we use to have.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The real trouble with reality is that thereīs no background music
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is procastinating now. Donīt see why I should put it off.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Bad decisions make good stories.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then sheīll be awake.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you canīt say anything nice ... weīre probably related.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If you canīt amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I didnīt outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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