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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:40pm

If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:36pm

I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but I’m the only one that matters.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:35pm

Own the day
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 21:25pm

Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 20:37pm

If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 20:35pm

Life in the fast lane ?  Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 20:34pm

The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 20:18pm

I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 20:16pm

I'm certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.16.11 @ 20:15pm

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nothing
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.15.11 @ 22:10pm

Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I'm crazy? Do they think I'm ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 15:07pm

There are three kinds of people: Those who totally agree with my messages, those who kind of agree with me, and those locked in the trunk of my car.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 15:06pm

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. ..well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 15:05pm

People around me think I'm losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 15:04pm

Things I've learned: There's no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 15:01pm

I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 15:00pm

Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 14:59pm

I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 14:56pm

Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.14.11 @ 14:54pm

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