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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

U make me wish I had more middle fingers
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Honk if you want to see my finger.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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