Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen

Always look out for #1. Donīt step in #2 either.

Never hire a color blind Bomb Technician.

Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

I want it all and I want it delivered.

is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery wonīt spoil me.

three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."

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Do you ever notice that when youīre driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Smile. It makes people wonder what youīre up to.

Is somebody not editing what Iīm saying here???

is spending my childrenīs inheritance.

Save time. See it my way.

Some days itīs not worth chewing through the straps.

Gun Control: Use both hands

3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

If I throw a stick will you leave?