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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I used to play sports. Then realized you can buy trophies. Now Im good at everything.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I guess if you spoke your mind, youd be speechless, huh?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I cant remember if its the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is experiencing life at a rate of several wtfs a minute
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Yes, I know how to shut up. I just dont know when.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is a mystery youll never solve
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. Im going back to bed for six weeks.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I am upping my standards.. so up yours!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

www.amish.com. How did this happen?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you cant chug that whole beer!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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