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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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if there wasnt a last minute Id never get anything done.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

TEIAM - problem solved
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." Im pretty surprised "yell for help" wasnt one of them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I have an oven with a "stop time" button. Its probably meant to be "stop timer" but I dont touch it, just in case.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

only 9530 days until retirement.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Dance like no ones going to put it on YouTube.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

They should make Vodka ChapStick
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Insert coin to view my status message.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

People reckon Im too patronizing (that means I treat them as if theyre stupid).
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Plan B includes margaritas.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If your phone doesnt ring its me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You are wasting your time reading this status.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. Im upgrading to the tugboat!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

If guys had periods, theyd brag about the size of their tampons.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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