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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Making mirrors look good, since 1972
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

word of the day: nincomtard
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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