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I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Everything I need to know in life I learned in kindergarten... if you poop your pants they let you go home.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Have you ever held your money and thought "I hope this hasn´t been up a stripper´s butt"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
I can´t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
is "insert clever remark here."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
I´ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm