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Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
So many rules; so little time to break them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
I don´t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
If I weren´t such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm