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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I really need a long road trip, top down, in the Jeep...with a cooler....loud music....and an extra cooler in case the first one isn't enough
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.10.17 @ 10:30am

I was wondering why some couples don't go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don't work out...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.10.17 @ 10:29am

When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:41pm

I just don't want to look back and think "I could've eaten that"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:40pm

Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:40pm

When I was young I could climb mountains, these days I have to steady myself to fart.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:40pm

These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:39pm

The only way a fidgey spinner would relieve my stress is if it was edible ...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:39pm

Is food porn star a thing yet??
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:39pm

Don't get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I'll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:39pm

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A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:39pm

To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for the reaction.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:39pm

Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:38pm

Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:38pm

Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:38pm

I think I'm approaching my "best if used by" date
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:38pm

How do Amish girls know if it's a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:38pm

This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:37pm

If there's no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra's?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:37pm

I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.4.17 @ 12:37pm

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