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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.25.18 @ 12:41pm

No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We'll both regret it soon enough.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.25.18 @ 12:41pm

Just had workplace violence training. It's like HR doesn't even care about the first rule of fight club.
Posted By: Mad Ade - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.18.18 @ 05:09am

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
Posted By: Mad Ade - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.18.18 @ 05:07am

Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
Posted By: Mad Ade - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.18.18 @ 05:06am

happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.15.18 @ 12:00pm

If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:33am

If you grew up wanting to be a Plumber or a Pizza delivery boy, You watched too much porn as a kid.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:33am

You can always make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:33am

Dear Maytag: Why don't your dryers have a Fold cycle? It's 2018 for chrissake!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:32am

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To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you're happy now!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:32am

There's a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:32am

Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let's get a cat.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:32am

Maybe it's the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:31am

I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:31am

Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:31am

I don't know what I would do without Facebook, but I'm sure it would be something more productive
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:29am

Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:29am

Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:29am

If you're going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you're just an ass.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.12.18 @ 11:29am

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