It must be impossible to stand out as a prostitute working on Halloween.

I'll be spending most of today putting Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.

That akward moment when a Zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you..

Reason #43 that I had children: I get to play "candy inspector" after Trick-Or-Treating on Halloween.

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

gonna wear a Charlie Brown costume this Halloween and give everyboby who comes to my door a ROCK.

If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I'm just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills. I should be fine.

wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don't solve riddles that open portals to Hell.

hopes this Halloween, he doesn't end up with a bag full of restraining orders again.

forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of his sandwich.

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wonders if Lady Gaga dresses up as a normal person for Halloween?

The Police departments should be required every Nov 1 to post mug shots of people arrested in their Halloween costumes.�

When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, The moon laughs and whispers, �tis near Halloween.

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween.

Sometimes I wish there was a zombie apocalypse just so I can hit a certain few people in the face with a shovel.

Could I borrow your face for Halloween?

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

You might be a redneck if : the Halloween pumpkin on you porch has more teeth than your spouse.

Hold on, man. �We don�t go anywhere with �scary,� �spooky,� �haunted,� or �forbidden� in the title.

H☠A☠L☠L☠O☠W☠E☠E☠N☠