I don�t drink water, unless it�s been through a brewery first.

You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.

What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.

I don�t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.

I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t's totally different.

At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?

I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.

If anyone asks, I'm drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.

Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.

ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site

        www.multiplechoicetrivia.com

I need a partner in wine.

Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.

I�ve never pretended to be anything I�m not�except for sober. I�ve pretended to be sober a few times.

I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...

I don�t care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.

Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There�s liquor and you can�t hear them.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer

The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.

Thank goodness I'm loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can't blame it on the alcohol.

Water is so good when it's mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.