If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week

This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.

is pretty sure thereīs a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.

I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah Iīm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"

I get so tired of the same old BS...canīt I get a little BS variety?

When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.

Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!

Itīs Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.

I try not to limit my madness to March.

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Itīs Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.

Mondays are middle finger approved

I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.

How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?